Wednesday, August 6, 2008

I've been here 3 days and I already hate telemarketers

When you tick off The Great Drasborj by calling his significant other the equivalent of a Droonian Slubbertak you should expect something nasty to happen to you. Believe it or not, I used to be one of the most respected chroniclers that the network had seen in several Dree turns. That's right. Glicnk Hvall himself gave my career "six digits up" in his wonderful article "Who Gets Six Digits Up and Who Does Not" but that's ancient history. What's hot today is not later on today - isn't that what they say? Well if it isn't, they should. Anyway, I am stuck in the sinkhole of the Sol system with nothing but a primitive computer that still works in BINARY! and ten fingers to click with. Stupid human body! And why does it always smell so bad!!

End Transmission

1 comment:

CYLinfo said...

You probably know the old programmers pun about there being 10 types of people who understand binary: those who do and those who don't. What you don't hear about so much are the programmers that work in hexadecimal. These are the current generation of "pedal-to-the-metal" assembly language programmers. You can spot a lot of them by looking for tell-tale signs such as wearing sandles (or, "flip-flops" which is a pun based on a delicately balanced transistor circuit), or getting the words "I've got a hex on you" tattooed on their left arm just below the edge of the shirt-sleeve. The newest "cutting-edge" programmers work in 32 bits and, as yet, haven't come up with a standard word for what they are. They just try to amaze you with references to the fact that they have taken, and passed, the test for the MicroSoft [fill-in-the-technical-sounding-technician-rating-here] Certificate that allows them to put animated jargon on the computer screen in wonderfully artful screen-scapes and can communicate with far-flung "server" computers within the "cloud". They can't, in actuallity, create any "content" for these screens, but, hey, they really look snazzy and the response time has been whittled down to nanoseconds (from which we get the phrase "nano-nano".) What the 32-bitters are really trying to accomplish is to re-create the look-and-feel of the Fox 13 newscast in Internet format. A formidable task if I ever saw one. The Grammitch Arders on Platonic III have, in fact, gone to the trouble of evolving 32 by 32 bit Graphic Qualitensors into their Fipple-Nongs to eliminate the need to constantly flip between non-content broadcasts. They are only able to do this in black-and-white for the current Quorts cycle, but should attain basic tri-color sensing in the next few Borts.

As far as your chronicling skills go; as I stated in the previous article, you really need to shove off and do your due-diligence on the subject. The Great Drasborj admires due-diligencers and places them in his highest regards. And what the *ell do you think Blincnk Hvall has to do with anything? Are you going to be a slave to this Plist-mongering patter-pusher? Do you actually put any credence in his Fendre-minded Grop style of self edification while he slanderizes all other potential chroniclers? Don't listen to that Frizgsers' farp any longer. Go with your best effort! Go for the whole hexademcimal Wad!

In regards to your last comment: Tic-Tacs do wonders.